So Much Fail

I really don't want to be an adult.

I don't want to spend the next however many years of my life working for no real benefit other than money and then to die and for none of it to matter anyway.

I wish I had some sort of ambition.

Sleep Depravation

I've not long woken up from sleeping for the best part of twelve hours. It was beautiful. Even more beautiful in light of the fact that, prior to today, I'd slept for about eleven hours in the previous four days.

The reason? My own failure to be organised and do my uni work on time. As such, in the space of about twelve hours, I wrote 3500 words of prose, 120 lines of poetry, and fucked up my sleeping pattern for the forseeable future. I would have had it done sooner, but the truth is, I just didn't want to. I've done perfectly fine doing my work at the last minute for the last three years. Why break the pattern?

Either way, have some lol-poetry.

Archive

The frozen frame shows us,

all youthful smiles,

in our gaudy teenage fashion,

as we pose for the digital record

of our adolescence.

Here

in this single

slither of existence,

we are inseparable.

Immovable dolls.

Monuments to our youth.

Our picture selves

aren’t to know that,

really,

we haven’t spoken for years,

save for cordial

birthday emails,

prompted by a Facebook notification.

The two halves of our photograph

have long since been torn

in two.

No longer even glued together.

Medicate

Carried home

with shame

in a paper bag.

The hollow rattle

of my sanity

in a bottle.

Take one a day

as directed

with water and

a plastic smile.

Polyurethane

stretched across my face.

Stifling sound.

Holding the mask up.

Suffocating.    

Conjoined Lovers

They lie breathless

with undergrowth

for bed sheets.

Muddy with passion.

Dirty hands

and dirty knees.

He traces her age

with his fingertips

on her skin.

Counting birthmarks, 

reading scars

raised like Braille.  

She paints his pleasure

with breathy cries

splattered

colourful and thick

on the blank

night sky.

The woodlands witness

their conjoined relief.


 

Taxi

Rain water soothes

blistered feet

as I walk

barefooted

over stones and concrete.

The threat of broken glass

is preferred

to walking

another

step

in those damned heels.

Wearing silence

like blinders,

lack of noise

makes my ears

hum

and threaten to burst. 

Sleepless, Unsettled

Lying still,

silent,

in the sightless dark.

Thought worms

restless,

refusing

to stay still,

to go unheard,

keeping sleep away.

Seconds stretch

into long minutes

and slow hours.

Time

both infinite

and insignificant,

endless

and instant

marks a struggle,

a staring contest,

between

mind and body

that only exhaustion

can win.

Us

Never forget.

How could I?

When your name is carved

into the flesh of my memory.

Our pasts are entwined,

with roots in my core,

and tendrils

reaching out,

wrapped around my future.

Is the anyone in there?

Never let go,

though I want to.

My fingers are already too tangled,

snared in you.

We will sink together,

in sickness and health.

Dirt under my fingernails

that I can’t scrape out.

A slither of glass in my eye.

I can never wash you away.

Mustn’t rub, agitate.

Have to wait

for you to work your way out

on your own.

Of your own accord.

I’ve already signed myself away,

given away,

given up.